Signs of the Apocalypse #284: Scootergate

Once again I present you with a dreadfully composed picture, courtesy of Lucky Goldstar (that is, my LG cell phone). I was devastated to find myself without my camera at the Red Derby last night when they happened to be hosting a scooter rally. There is little that I find more entertaining than accidentally stumbling into one of DC's many bizarre subcultures. Ironically, though, most of the scooters had Maryland plates, but we'll overlook that for now.

Once again, Google to the rescue. This weekend is Scootergate 2008, the preeminent scooterer? gathering in the United States. Think Hell's Angels, except with 150cc engines and 12 inch wheels. I had the fantastic good fortune to surreptitiously attend the pre-rally warm-up, which featured a viewing of Quadrophenia at the Derby, complete with audio! That was a rare treat. I remain a bit confounded about the relationship between the classic rock opera and scooterists. Those are motorcycles in that movie, kids. Oh wait, the tricked out Vespas... okay, it's been a while and I wasn't paying attention last night. Something about scooter sacrifice. Anyway...

Tonight the official rally begins, and damn it if the scootererers won't be taking over H street. You can get the details from the link above, but suffice it to say that the Rock and Roll Hotel is the place to be... if you can get in! The website strongly encourages pre-registration for the show.

But the real fun should be on the mall after 2 AM where the "monument ride" will take place. I am not joking, if I am still awake and cabable of getting my ass to the mall, I will be there. What could be better than witnessing dozens of scooterererers of varying degrees of intoxication driving through the World War II memorial? Or seeing if a scooter still works under 12" of water in the reflecting pool? Doing donuts in front of the Lincoln Memorial? This should be awesome.

Well, that's it for now, but I hope to see everyone at Scootergate '08. Scooterists: I am not making fun of you. Really. Okay, I am, but it's nothing personal because I make fun of everyone, and I'm laughing with you, and not at you. I really do love this kind of stuff. So please don't get angry and leave little 1" wide treadmarks on the hood of my car.