Friday, June 6, 2008

The end is nigh!!

Holy crap!! Everyone start building an ark, prepare for the rapture, or make love to the nearest hot person of the opposite sex. Or whatever your preference is.


As of 1:46 PM on this Friday, June 6, 2008, the world's most powerful consumer web site has been broken for at least five minutes. Already, thousands of people are sweating and wondering where the nearest Wal-Mart is.

Update, 1:55 PM: is still down, and I have learned from reliable sources (that is: spam from Borders) that Borders has terminated their seven-year partnership with, and launched their own website a few days ago. Could this be first shot across the bow in a bloody bookstore battle? This could be the ugliest online vendetta since Wonkette pissed off the Ron Paul freaks. And is working fine, stealing thousands of customers per second. Coincidence? I think not.

Update, 2:07 PM: Still down. I'm not sure exactly what's going on, but I'm feeling a little anxious. Are those bugs on my arms? Ack, get them off!

Update, 2:44 PM: After hitting reload 4,234 time in the last 20 minutes has finally been restored. Praise be to Allah, Isis, Shiva and Kim Jong Il for gracing us again with your terabytes of one-click shipping goodness. How the world managed to exist for the approximately one hour of Amazone-free hell, I will never know, but this day will live in infamy as one of the greatest horrors of the 21st century. Never forget.

Update, 2:49 M: Noooooo!!! It's broken again... those heinous Borders terrorists have somehow defeated Amazon's advanced security grid and once again brought the world of gratuitous spending to it's knees. The network is shaky, we're up and down. I'll be outside sniffing glue until this crisis is over.

Update, 3:49 PM: It's official. There are dozens of stories in the news about's demise. Their stock is down 4%. This is, without question, the first horseman of the apocalypse and the surest sign of the end of western civilization. Saddle up, bitches. It's time to move to Canada.

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