NYTimes, How You Have Fallen

Print media is doomed.

This story about a kid who got stuck in a bar overnight is apparently the most interesting thing that's happened in the New York region.

And even worse, this happened on May 20. Almost three weeks ago. But the heartstring-pulling story of some NYC 20-something who got drunk and passed out in a bar was worth honoring in the local news.

The drama builds to an incredible crescendo as our hero, Mr. Hausmann, descibes his innermost feelings as the sun rose:

A faint light was coming through the windows — it was about 5:30 a.m. “I thought, ‘I guess I’m going to be late for work,’ ” he said.

But luckily, he then started to sober up and his natural McGyver instincts took over in the nick of time. He discovered a laptop computer he could use to get online:

“I checked my e-mail,” he said, “which was completely not helpful. My friends were planning a get-together. And I wrote back, ‘Yes, this will work. If only I could figure out how to escape from the bar I’m trapped in.’”

Good time to update the facebook page, for sure.

I won't spoil the end of this riveting drama for you, just go read the story. It will have you on the edge of your seat, but don't be afraid - everyone lives happily ever after.

Well, I guess someone can't climb the New York Times building every day...