Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Google Knows All, Not Afraid To Tell You

You may have noticed that lately, when you start entering a google search, it pops up the number of results of searches beginning with the words you type. While this is both cool and disturbing at the same time, you can also use this feature to harness the power of the Google Oracle to answer all questions. Google will reveal the truth about any question of character based on the fact that it knows everything.

Please feel free to waste hours trying this on your own, but as you can see from the examples below, it is never wrong.

1. George Bush

Observe how more people believe that George Bush is an alien, than believe he is a great president. But what about the veep?

2. Dick Cheney

I think that pretty much sums it up, though #6 concerns me.

3. Barack Obama

More people think Obama is the anticrhist than Bush, but at the same time more people think Obama is their homeboy than that he is the antichrist. Check! Barack Obama is definitely the first muslim terrorist arab socialist president of the United States.

4. Sarah Palin

This one got a little tricky. Since most people started out their proclamations with "Sarah Palin Is A... " we had to look up that too in order to find out what she is.

But "Sarah Palin is Hot" still wins!!

But what about local politics?

5. Adrian Fenty

I think that speaks for itself.

Now that we've got the final word on the important politicians, just a few more questions need answering.

6. God

Still hanging on, with "good" having a slight edge over "not great".

7. Google

Do you doubt the veracity of anything you read here? I give you two final Googloracle searches to prove that you should never doubt it's power:

8. The answer is

All that makes perfect sense to me except the last one, say what? But anyone who still doubts the answer is 42 can wait another five billion years for the question. This is good enough for me.

Finally... the ultimate proof. All hail Google, Who Knows ALL!!

9. Jamie is