Friday, October 3, 2008

Palin Drone

I don't usually get into too much of the political analysis and ranting, except about local stuff, because that's usually got a lot of humor value. But I came away from watching last night's debate with a few thoughts. First, the moderator of the debate mostly sucked. Sarah Palin came right out and explicitly said she would not answer the questions. And so she didn't, she simply chanted one of three scripted monologues that she had memorized, never having anything to do with the question. I can't believe the moderator didn't even call her out on this.

But never mind that. I had some deep thoughts about what might happen should they be elected. So without further ado...

Pros and Cons of a McCain/Palin Presidency


1. Constant use of term "Joe Sixpack" could result in trade embargo from China, effectively tripling the cost of most products sold at Wal-Mart and consequently plunging 46% of the US into poverty.

2. Maverick in Chief is constant reminder of stupid Mel Gibson movie of same name.

3. Palin's folksiness even more irrating than George Bush's.

4. Hippie names become popular among conservatives. Consequently you can no longer assume someone named "Sierra" or "Rainbow" smokes pot.


1. We will have the world's hottest leader when McCain dies, dramatically improving relations with banana republics and most European countries.

2. Palin is even easier to make fun of than Dan Quayle.

3. Saturday Night Live will be funny again.

4. Cute accent reminds you of Fargo.

5. Potential for combining Bristol's shotgun wedding with the inauguration in January; could be the drunkest party in DC history.

6. Moose steaks available in area supermarkets.


The economy may collapse but there will be awesome entertainment in DC.


Buy property in Canada but bring your DirectTV dish with you.

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