... and the "pre-teens" are here.

That's our new word for the era. Yes, it's almost as bad as the "naughties," but I like it a little better than the "tweens." It's only for three years, or even less, if the world ends in 2012 as expected, so deal with it.

It's now 13 days into the pre-teens, and so far, 2010 reminds me very little of the sequel to "2001: A Space Odyssey," and very much of riding in the back of a pickup truck in Alaska. The thermometer has barely nudged above 30 since the new year. As I've become accustomed to a week of 60 or 70 degree weather in the middle of winter every year in DC, this is quite disturbing.

In the last thirteen days, some important things have taken place.

DC's 5 cent bag tax has taken effect. This has caused a few nut jobs to swear they will drive 3,000 miles through rebel-controlled Nicaragua in their hummer armed with nothing but a fly-swatter to obtain mangoes before they will pay one red cent in tax for a bag. Personally, I think that tax is stupid and won't ultimately make much difference in terms of trash and environmental harm, but at the same time I really doubt it's going to seriously affect business. That guy notwithstanding.

I can't believe Andrew couldn't
even score with this Herpes Triangle
skank. He is definitely gay.

The Real World DC hits the airwaves. While this show has about as much in common with the real world as elephants do with jellyfish, the DC setting, even if narrowly focused on Dupont Circle and Georgetown, makes it kind of entertaining. I've never been a huge fan of reality shows. Actually, that's an understatement. I loathe them with a passion. Yet in the last week I've watched both RWDC and the American Idol tryouts. I expect I'll be watching Teen Mom and Hoarders soon. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em, I guess.

Sarah Palin gets a gig on Fox News! In a bid to improve their credibility, Fox has retained Sarah Palin in a mushy kind of contract to appear as a political commentator. In her first public appearance since this announcement, we get a taste of what's to come as Bill O'Reilly asked her if she'd seen the lastest "60 Minutes" in which former McCain strategist talked about her shenanigans on the campaign trail. Palin's response?

"Yes, that surprised me," Palin said tonight. "I hadn't seen the '60 Minutes" thing.' I had been warned, you know, don't watch. It's a bunch of B.S. from [Steve] Schmidt and from some of those."

We've got a lot to look forward to, folks. The only question is, will The Daily Show need to be extended to a full hour to allow for enough time to fully mock Palin's performances?

Petunias and Potatoes are "murderous meat-eaters." Add spuds to the list of things that PETA will be boycotting, as it has been demonstrated that these nefarious tubers are carniverous. I am not kidding. They eat flies.

That last one actually happened in December 2009. But it was important enough that I felt everyone should know.