Madoff's Billions

Sometimes I wonder if I'm the only one left trying to make a buck the old fashioned way. Like Smith Barney. You know, "we earn it." Ummm... wait... $700 billion bailout... oh, never mind.

Anyway, while such things as a few poeple pilfering $50 million from under the noses of the DC government are fairly shocking, this guy has apparently disappeared $50 billion in assets over a number of years. The article states that the firm had from 11 to 25 clients, some of whom may be other fund managers. Great. So even those of us too insignificant to even consider investing in something super high-dollar and super sketchy are probably going to suffer because our mutual fund manager bought Mr. Madoff a new corporate jet.

Anyhoo, I am becoming increasingly convinced that the entire global economy is really just a sham designed to make fewer than 100 people fabulously wealthy while the rest of us will end up looking greedily at stray cats as a possible dinner option in short order. But in the event that there is, in fact, some shred of reality to our financial system, here is some advice for staying afloat in the upcoming New World Order:

• Don't give millions of dollars to someone who inexplicably is able to give a return on investment that is better than anyone else, yet won't show you his books.


• If you have no clue how your potential investment works, probably you shouldn't invest in it.


• Avoid anyone who's name is a homonym for "made off."

The guy apparently is apparently facing up to 20 years in prison and a $5 million fine. How they come up with this stuff is baffling to me. Shouldn't the guy who swindled people out of the GNP of many small-to-medium sized nations be facing a fine a little bit more than $5 million? I mean, he'll probably have enough money left over to buy his way out of jail in 3 years! On the other hand, a first-time offender caught with 5 grams of crack is facing a minimum sentence of 5 years in prison. Chances are, Madoff will be back on his yacht in less time than that. What a system.

Anyway, the point of this post was really just to make a bad pun about Madoff's name. That being accomplished.... until next time.