Getting Past "Snopacalypse"

Snopacalypse. Snomageddon. SnOMG. Can you think of anything that says "December 2009" more than those words? Next you'll be saying "groovy" and "far out." Seriously, it's time to retire those threadbare memes now.

In anticipation of the impending catastrophe that awaits us tomorrow, I would like to propose some fresh "snowmenclature" to get us through the weekend. Something fitting of February 2010. Something both modern yet retro, that we can all grab hold of. Here goes.

Manifesnow. A long blog post about snow, e.g. this.

Snolocaust. The only thing worse than a snomageddon.

Snobedient. The guy who shows up to work when the office is technically open, even though the the buses and metro aren't running and there's a foot of snow in the road. You will be subjected to the stories about his 2-hour dogsled commute for the next two months.

Snomad. Opposite of "snobedient," people who don't even open their front door until two days after the snow has stopped falling. Most of the time when your neighbor's steps aren't shoveled several days later, it's not because they are out of town. They are snomads.

Snormal. What a prediction of snow has become in DC.

Snofanity. What comes out of your mouth while you are digging your car out for the fourth time in a month.

A Snookie.

Snopponent. Target it a snowball fight.

Snowned. What you are when you get hit with a snowball.

Snobotomy. That feeling you get when your brain freezes from being outside too long.

Snowgasm. No explanation needed.

Snookie. An albino Wookie. Alternate definition: something that happens before a snowgasm.

Snocreate. Possible consequence of snookie without a snophylactic.

Innasnowpriate. What this list is becoming.