Pepco: You Can Blow Me, Too (Post #200!)

Joining the Comcast on list of companies that can blow me is Pepco, who has apparently been using a dartboard to calculate my electric bill every month. Unfortunately, unlike Comcast, I actually can't live without Pepco. But for the amount of money they've expected me to send them every month since October, I could probably install my own solar panels and move off the grid. Seriously, I'm thinking about it. Apparently, my problems are far from isolated - DCist recently noted that many people had been complaining about insanely high electric bills.

Let's begin with the important data found on my online bills beginning October 23, 2008.

Meter No. Last Digits	Multiplier	Previous Reading	Present Reading	KWH Used KW Demand	Description	Amount
6294	10	525	5262	80	Meter Exchange
5883	1	0	6405	1151		$167.60
5883	1	6405	7637	1232	Residential-R	$165.85
5883	1	7637	9098	1461	Residential-R	$196.36

Every single month, the type of reading was listed as ESTIMATED. That's right - they have not even read my meter once since I began service, yet think it's perfectly appropriate to charge me nearly 200 bucks a month for electricity that they have no idea if I have used.

I am not sure what basis they have for these estimated readings, either. Unless the former owner of my house had a 200-plant marijuana farm growing in the attic, there is no way in hell anyone's EVER used that much electricity in this house in a month.

The boiler is gas. There is no A/C, and it's winter anyway. The range is gas. The electric panel is about 70 years old and is probably not even capable of running a space heater.

In my "other" house, my worst electric bill has been about $180, and that's in the steaming peak of DC summer with three window units going. Oh yeah and I have a dual-fuel range, it's a bigger house with lots more people coming and going and leaving lights and crap on all the time, several computers, a plasma TV, blah blah blah.

Anyway. According to these jokers, this tiny house with not so much as an electric razor has consumed a whopping 3,924 kilowatt hours in less than three months. Wow. I could probably operate a Stargate and warp the space-time continuum around central Petworth with that much power. Maybe it would be worth it, it might shorten my walk to the metro.

So I called them up, and the friendly customer service rep asked me if I could read the meter myself. Relying heavily on the skills I learned putting together Ikea furniture, I deciphered Pepco's meter-reading instructions and got the number off it.

01666. Figures it ended with 666. After all, it's Friday the 13th. After trying to figure out for a while how this figure fits in with all the other random numbers up there, I understood. They replaced the meter when I moved in, starting at zero, and I have used 1,666 kwh since that date. And that's as of today - almost another month after the last "estimated" reading was made. Actual electricity usage: about 1/3 of what I am being charged.

Well, I called them back, and after spending another 30 minutes on hold, I figured we would be able to sort this out before I shelled out another $200 I didn't owe.

Not so much.

Pepco: We need to read the meter.

Me: I know that. I just called and you said I could read it myself, that's why I called you back.

Pepco: Your meter has never been read before. We have to read it the first time.

Me, incredulous: I've had service for 3 months, for which you've been billing me almost 200 bucks a month, and you've never read my meter?

Pepco: Your first reading is scheduled for March 24. We only have to read the meter every six months.

Let us pause for one moment to consider that statement. Every. Six. Months. In this day and age when energy is so expensive, and many of us are trying to conserve, we only get to find out how much electricity we've been using every six months???

Me: Umm... it would be nice, I guess, if I could stop paying you $200 a month for energy I didn't use. I don't have electric heat, there are no space heaters, and all the lights are CFLs. I should be using about $50 a month, if that.

Pepco: We are going to send someone on Monday to read your meter. The adjustment will be reflected in your next bill.

Me: So I have to wait yet another month, after dropping nearly 600 bucks to keep the lights on, for you to actually realize I don't have an unlicenced particle accelerator on my premises?

Pepco: You can wait until you get the next bill to pay it.

Me: Yeah right. And then I get to negotiate with you again over late fees. No thanks.

Pepco, you can suck it. If you are going to estimate readings, you damn well better have some basis for doing so. Since I've never actually lived there until this October, you obviously do not have one.

I will report back.

p.s. THIS IS POST #200!! I am very pleased that

1) I squeaked in the last one before Valentine's Day, avoiding the possibility of writing about V-Day for the big 200.
2) It is on Friday the 13th
3) It trashes an evil utility and/or corporation
4) It makes use of one of my photographs that I love... though it was in Hell, MD or thereabouts, not in DC
5) It involves a conversation with a customer service drone, one of my favorite things to hate on

Thanks for reading everyone! Have a great long weekend.